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Assessing Marital Atmosphere

Assessing Marital Atmosphere

A Relationship Analysis of Connectedness

Dr. Dave Currie

 

Atmosphere Analysis:  Have fun scoring yourself and your spouse on the following aspects of marital connection. Add your totals out of 100. Share your scores. Begin your discussion by admitting where do you need to improve? Where does your connection need warming?

 

  1. Affection – Warm physical touch, gentleness, caring hugs, daily kisses away from the bedroom, arms around each other, hand-holding, sitting close, feeling loved, secure, fully protected,

His Score: _____/10                                                                           Her Score: _____/10

 

  1. Affirmation – Encouraging words, acknowledging attributes, building up vs tearing down, publicly honouring, declaring worth and approval vs harshness, attacking or criticizing.

His Score: _____/10                                                                           Her Score: _____/10

 

  1. Attention – Undivided focus, active listening, fully engaged, present, setting aside distractions, no phones, looking at the person, listening to the end of the interaction, being “in the moment”.

His Score: _____/10                                                                           Her Score: _____/10

 

  1. Appreciation – Gratitude, thankfulness, using please and thank you, not taking for granted, assuming that’s “your job”, giving them credit for their role, validate contributions.

His Score: _____/10                                                                           Her Score: _____/10

  1. Assistance – Giving acts of service, helping out, lightening their load, being empathic, taking something off their list, doing what is asked without grumbling or complaining, being team.

His Score: _____/10                                                                           Her Score: _____/10

 

  1. Advocacy – I’ve got your back attitude, stand up for each other rather than “throw you under the bus”, no wedge between you, speak highly in public, believing in each other, on your team.

His Score: _____/10                                                                           Her Score: _____/10

 

  1. Apology – freely and quickly admitting wrongs, taking ownership for mistakes, no blaming, justification, defensiveness or excuses, saying sorry, asking for forgiveness, restoring connection.

His Score: _____/10                                                                           Her Score: _____/10

 

  1. Adoration – thoughtful gestures, remembering significant days, showering with gifts, knowing what they like, wanting to please, sacrificing for the other, spending time together.

His Score: _____/10                                                                           Her Score: _____/10

 

  1. Allegiance – Deep marital commitment, marriage is clearly priority, sharing schedules and whereabouts, loyal, faithful, exclusive, accountable, make each other feel pursued, important.

His Score: _____/10                                                                           Her Score: _____/10

 

  1. Anchored – Growing spiritual connection, deepening my faith, praying for and with each other, attending church together, sharing hearts and Biblical insights, agreement on life’s values.

His Score: _____/10                                                                           Her Score: _____/10

 

His Total Score: _____/100                                                                      Her Total Score: _____/100

 

 

 

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